Why I write

It is so important to get words out of your head.  I held mine in for 20 years at least. My brain rushes around at 100 miles an hour and there are things that need to be worked out. There’s frustration, happiness, anger, annoyance, but there are also so many ideas, solutions and good times just sitting in there, awaiting a spark.  It might seem strange to some that people make videos or talk on a screen.  It can look self-indulgent to some, but it could also be a great release for them and I respect that.    

Generally people want to communicate, and have other people to understand you and form a connection with you.  I used to do that with music but as a producer, I didn’t have a voice. I had to make emotion through the song, with vocal samples, strings, pads, or make power through bass and beats. As soon as the artist put down their words, it became totally different vibe and became their song so it wasnt always as gratifying for me. So social media is the quickest and most convenient way to achieve communication, but it’s difficult taking the first step.  There are downsides too, including being open to vulnerability and those who disagree and others who are dangerous, but this is another story, I’ll focus on the positive. 

Why writing?

I started writing poetry to get words and ideas down after I stopped producing music, but the idea of coming back to creating something was the big pull.  My first poems were ultra negative, highlighting my insecurities with anxiety and in particular, where I felt I was failing.  To face up, reading those poems out loud to people was a better way to say to accept it.  Something which I hadn’t done previously, apart from a few discussions with family.

Topics for poems started to move away from negativity and frustration, moving towards more fun subjects, relaxing observations, family, friends and nostalgia. I’m still really happy that I did the negative ones to express that side too, as life isn’t perfect. Some of the angrier ones are my favourites because its raw energy and that’s what its all about. None of us should have to censor anything, we’re all human, no one gets everything right.

What’s Next

So I’m going to write, try things out, do journals, paint, make music, play an instrument, draw something and see what themes and subjects keep cropping up.  It will release a tension and become cathartic in a sense, allowing better understanding in my head.  It can be a scary place, especially when tested, stressed and down, but it also has a lot of answers and lot of positive flow too.

I never in a million years thought I would be able to write poems and really get into it like I have.  I’m buzzing to make poems and spoken word and creating writing, so it’s a whole new vibe for me. I’m looking forward to speaking to people, understanding viewpoints and experiences and have fun with it.